Just For Fun

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"

What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!

WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut

What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.

Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!

My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...

Hi, do you want to have my children? No.?? ...Okay, then can we just practice?

Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks your an asshole�

Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Accept me as I am.
Don't try to change me.
Love me for who I am.
If you do then you will see,
how strong my love can really be.

God made me the way I am.
I have no problem with that.
Everyone is different,
you must accept that fact.

I can only be the
person that you see.
I won't change for anyone
for I can only be me.

We all are different,
this is true .
I can only be me,
I can't be like you.

Accept me as I am
no matter what it takes.
I know I'm a good person,
because the Lord
don't make mistakes..!!!