Monday, November 26, 2012

Know where you are going in life


A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took them to catch it.

"Not very long." they answered in unison.

"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing few songs. We have a full life."

The tourist interrupted." I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that ?"

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and may be open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City!
From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?"

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years.” replied the tourist.

And after that ?”

"Afterwards ? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting,” answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions.

"Millions ? Really ? And after that ? Asked the fishermen.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, Sleep late, play with your children, Catch a few fish, and take a siesta with your wife. And spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years? asked Mexicans.

Moral: Know where you're going in life..... You may already be there.

Easy to Criticize but difficult to improve


Once upon a time there was a painter who had just completed his course under disciple hood of a great painter. This young artist decided to assess his skills of skills so he decided to give his best strokes on the canvass. He took 3 days and painted beautiful scenery.
Suddenly an idea flashed in his mind and he decided to display it on a busy street-square of that small town he was resident of. He wanted people's opinion about his caliber and painting skills..

He put his creation at a busy street-crossing. And just down below a board which read-"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. Please put a cross wherever you see a mistake."
While he came back in the evening to collect his painting he was completely shattered to see that whole canvass was filled with Xs (crosses) and some people had even written their comments on the painting.

Disheartened and broken completely he ran to his master’s place and burst into tears. Sobbing and crying inconsolably he told his master about what happened and showed the pathetic state of his creation which was filled with marks everywhere. Such was the state that colors were not visible, only things one could see were crosses and correction remarks.
This young artist was breathing heavily and master heard him saying "I'm useless and if this is what I have learnt to paint I'm not worth becoming a painter. People have rejected me completely.. I feel like dying"
Master smiled and suggested "My Son, I will prove that you are a great artist and have learnt a flawless painting."
Young disciple couldn't believe it and said "I have lost faith in me and I don't think I am good enough.. Don’t make false hopes.."
"Do as I say without questioning it.. It WILL work." Master interrupted him.
"Just paint exactly similar painting once again for me and give it to me. Will you do that for your master?.." Master instructed.
Young artist reluctantly agreed and two days later early morning he presented a replica of his earlier painting to his master. Master took that gracefully and smiled.

"Come with me. " master said.
They reached the same street-square early morning and displayed the same painting exactly at the same place. Now master took out another board which read -"Gentlemen, I have painted this piece. Since I'm new to this profession I might have committed some mistakes in my strokes etc. I have put a box with colors and brushes just below. Please do a favor. If you see a mistake, kindly pick up the brush and correct it."
Master and disciple walked back home.

They both visited the place same evening. Young painter was surprised to see that actually there was not a single correction done so far. But master wasn't satisfied as yet and he told his disciple "May be one day was too little a time for people to come up with ideas and take out time out of their busy schedules to correct it so let us keep it here for one more day. Tomorrow is Sunday, so we can expect some corrections coming in."

Next day again they visited and found painting remained untouched..

They say the painting was kept there for a month but no correction came in !

9 Daily Habits That Will Make You Happier!!

Once These minor changes in your daily routine will make a major difference in your life and career.


Happiness is the only true measure of personal success. Making other people happy is the highest expression of success, but it's almost impossible to make others happy if you're not happy yourself.
With that in mind, here are nine small changes that you can make to your daily routine that, if you're like most people, will immediately increase the amount of happiness in your life:
1. Start each day with expectation.
If there's any big truth about life, it's that it usually lives up to (or down to) your expectations. Therefore, when you rise from bed, make your first thought: "something wonderful is going to happen today." Guess what? You're probably right.
2. Take time to plan and prioritize.
The most common source of stress is the perception that you've got too much work to do.  Rather than obsess about it, pick one thing that, if you get it done today, will move you closer to your highest goal and purpose in life. Then do that first.
3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.
I'm not talking about a formal, wrapped-up present. Your gift can be your smile, a word of thanks or encouragement, a gesture of politeness, even a friendly nod. And never pass beggars without leaving them something. Peace of mind is worth the spare change.
4. Deflect partisan conversations.
Arguments about politics and religion never have a "right" answer but they definitely get people all riled up over things they can't control. When such topics surface, bow out by saying something like: "Thinking about that stuff makes my head hurt."
5. Assume people have good intentions.
Since you can't read minds, you don't really know the "why" behind the "what" that people do. Imputing evil motives to other people's weird behaviors adds extra misery to life, while assuming good intentions leaves you open to reconciliation.
6. Eat high quality food slowly.
Sometimes we can't avoid scarfing something quick to keep us up and running. Even so, at least once a day try to eat something really delicious, like a small chunk of fine cheese or an imported chocolate. Focus on it; taste it; savor it.
7. Let go of your results.
The big enemy of happiness is worry, which comes from focusing on events that are outside your control. Once you've taken action, there's usually nothing more you can do. Focus on the job at hand rather than some weird fantasy of what might happen.
8. Turn off "background" TV.
Many households leave their TVs on as "background noise" while they're doing other things. The entire point of broadcast TV is to make you dissatisfied with your life so that you'll buy more stuff. Why subliminally program yourself to be a mindless consumer?
9. End each day with gratitude.
Just before you go to bed, write down at least one wonderful thing that happened. It might be something as small as a making a child laugh or something as huge as a million dollar deal. Whatever it is, be grateful for that day because it will never come again.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The 33-Facts about Guyz

33 Facts about Guyz


Girls will surely read it
Belive it or not.......


1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat
and presentable girls.

2. Guys hate flirts.

3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not
thinking the way he is.

4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about ..


5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics.

6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".
... so true.


10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.

11. Guys love their moms.

12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses.

13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her.

14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.

17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.

18. Guys are very open about themselves.

19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.

20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty.

22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... very true.

23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
you.

24. Guys  keep secrets that girls tell them.

25. Guys think too much.

26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.

27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight
does! ... very true.

28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. So watch out girls!!!

29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.

30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.

31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.


32. Guys hate girls who overreact.

33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your relationships.
 

Five cannibals


This a real cool.. I couldn't resist to share this with you :-)

Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

 
Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our Testers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?" The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing Tester. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the Tester?" 
 
One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one Tester and it got noticed. So here after please don't eat a person who is working." 
JJJJ

Worth Sharing

Kindly, share this valuable information wherever possible.

1.  If you see children Begging anywhere in INDIA, please contact:
"RED SOCIETY" at 9940217816. They will help the children for their studies.


2.
Where you can search for any BLOOD GROUP, you will get thousand's of donor address.
www.friendstosupport.org

3.
Engineering Students can register in
www.campuscouncil.comto attend Off Campus for 40 Companies.

4.
Free Education and Free hostel for Handicapped/Physically Challenged children.
Contact:- 9842062501 & 9894067506.


5.
If anyone met with fire accident or people born with problems in their ear, nose and mouth can get free PLASTIC SURGERY done by  Kodaikanal   PASAM Hospital . From 23rd March to 4th April by German Doctors.
Everything is free. Contact : 045420-240668,245732
"Helping Hands are Better than Praying Lips"


6.
If you find any important documents like Driving license, Ration card, Passport, Bank Pass Book, etc., missed by someone, simply put them into any near by Post Boxes. They will automatically reach the owner and Fine will be collected from them.

7.  By the next 10 months, our earth will become 4 degrees hotter than what it is now. Our Himalayan glaciers are melting at rapid rate. So let all of us lend our hands to fight GLOBAL WARMING.
-Plant more Trees.
-Don't waste Water & Electricity.      
-Don't use or burn Plastics


8.  It costs 38 Trillion dollars to create OXYGEN for 6 months for all Human beings on earth.
"TREES DO IT FOR FREE"
"Respect them and Save them"


9.   Special phone number for Eye bank and Eye donation: 04428281919 and 04428271616 (Sankara Nethralaya Eye Bank). For More information about how to donate eyes plz visit these sites.
http://ruraleye.org/

10.  Heart Surgery free of cost for children (0-10 yr) Sri Valli Baba Institute Banglore. 10.
Contact : 9916737471

11.
Medicine for Blood Cancer!!!!
'Imitinef Mercilet' is a medicine which cures blood cancer. Its available free of cost at "Adyar Cancer Institute in Chennai". Create Awareness. It might help someone.
Cancer Institute  in Adyar, Chennai
Category:  Cancer
Address:
East Canal Bank Road, Gandhi Nagar
Adyar
Chennai -600020
Landmark: Near Michael School
Phone:  044-24910754  044-24910754 ,  044-24911526  044-24911526 ,  044-22350241  044-22350241


12.  
Please CHECK WASTAGE OF FOOD
If you have a function/party at your home in India and food gets wasted, don't hesitate to call 1098 (only in India ) - Its not a Joke, This is the number of Child helpline.
They will come and collect the food. Please circulate this message which can help feed many children.
AND LETS TRY TO HELP INDIA BE A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE IN
Please Save Our Mother Nature for
"OUR FUTURE GENERATIONS"

Why women are so special...

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, "I'm

                     tired,

                     and it's getting

                     late. I think I'll go to bed."



                She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the

                next  day's lunches.

                Rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the

                freezer for supper the  following evening,

              checked the cereal box levels,

                filled the sugar container,

              put spoons and bowls on the table

             and

            started the coffee pot for  rewing the next morning.

           She then put some wet clothes  in the dryer,

           put a load of clothes into the washer,

         ironed a shirt

                  and

        secured a loose button.

       She picked up the game pieces left on the table,

                put the phone back on the  charger

             and put the telephone book into the drawer.

                She watered the plants,

                emptied a wastebasket and hung up a  towel to dry.

               She yawned

               and

               stretched and

                 headed for the bedroom.

                She stopped by the desk

                and wrote a note to the teacher,

             counted out some cash  for the excursion

                and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

                She signed a birthday card for a friend,

                     addressed and stamped the  envelope

              and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.

                 She put both near her bag

     Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser,

            put on her Night Solution & age fighting  moisturizer,

           brushed and flossed her teeth

           and filed  her nails.

                Dad called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

                "I'm on my way," she  said.

       She put some water into the dog's dish

          and put  the cat outside,

                  then made sure the doors were locked

                   and the patio light was  on.

   She looked in on each of the kids and

             turned out their bedside lamps  and radios,

               hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper,

                and had a brief  conversation with the one up still
 doing homework.

          In her own room, she set  the alarm;

              laid out clothing for the next day,

                straightened up the shoe rack.

       She added three things to her 6 most  important things to do list.

                She said her prayers,

             and visualized the accomplishment of  her goals.




                About that time, Dad turned off the TV

                             and

                announced to no one in  particular.

             "I'm going to bed."

                      And he did...          without   another thought..




                 Anything extraordinary here?

     Wonder why women live longer...?


        'CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL......

                     (and they can't die sooner, they still have
 things to do!!!!)



                Send this to all those phenomenal women today...
               they'll love you for  it!

                          Then: GO TO BED!


                   Forward this to as many men as you can so that  they
                  know why women are so  special :)

Tomato and Potato


A small Joke ...


Each Friday night after work,

Sardar ji would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a tandoori chicken and some meat kebabs.

But, all of his neighbors were strict Catholics ...

And since it was Lent, they were forbidden from eating chicken and meat on a Friday.

The aroma from the grilled meats was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their Priest.

The Priest came to visit Sardar ji and suggested that he become a Catholic.

After several classes and much study,Sardar ji attended Mass...

And as the priest sprinkled holy water over him and said,

You were born a Sikh, and raised as a Sikh, but from now, you are a Catholic."

Sardar ji's neighbors were greatly relieved, until Friday night arrived.

The wonderful aroma of tandoori chicken and meat kebabs again filled the neighborhood.

The Priest was called immediately by the neighbors and as he rushed into Sardar ji's backyard,

clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him,he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Sardar ji,

holding a small bottle of holy water

which he carefully sprinkled over the grilling meats

and chanted:



"Oye, you were born a chicken, and you were born a lamb, you were raised as a chicken and you were raised as a lamb but now onwards you are a potato and you are a tomato...."

You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them


Ours was an arranged marriage. It was done the traditional way. Our Parents
took care of everything. My only condition was that she should be ready to
work. Our horoscopes and photos were exchanged. Everything Matched. I spoke
to her over the phone. We talked about things two strangers would talk. She
was a lecturer in Bangalore who felt Chemistry was more important than
Hindi movies. There was no engagement. The date for marriage was fixed in 2
weeks as I could not get a vacation after that. Even the vacation time I
got was just 10 days.

Everything was fixed. It was supposed to be very hectic for me. We got
married and 2 days later we had to leave the country. She cried like there
was no tomorrow when we left. She would not talk to me on the plane. I
thought that was usual for an Indian girl. I thought she would get over it.
Once home she would not talk to me. She sat in a corner staring at the TV.
For the first couple of days I had to catch up on some work and did not
take her mood seriously.

A week later I sat beside her and asked her, "What is wrong?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

"What do you mean? What happened?"

"I want to go home"

"This is your home"

"No. I want to go home. Please buy me a ticket"

"Look, everybody feels homesick. I did when I came here the first time. It
is normal. You will get over it. Sorry I have been busy with work.

We can go out this weekend. You will meet my friends and other people who
will be very friendly. Come on be a good girl"

"I hate this place. I miss my family, my friends, my college. All the
people I know are not here. I want to go home"

 "Think for a minute. Try to reason it out yourself. What is your plan by
the way? So you want to go back and never come back?"

"Yes"

"Are you crazy?"

 "If you think this is crazy then I am."

 "It is ok if you do not answer this question. Is there someone else?"

"No. I want to go home. I will call 911 if you do not send me"

"First cool down. Think about it. Think about our parents. It is less than
a month that we got married and now you want to return home. You very well
knew that you had to come here. What were you thinking? Even if you are
returning home what happens to our marriage?"

 "I am not blaming you. I take the blame. It is my mistake. I can't stay so
far away from my family. If you are so interested come to India"

 "I am family too! What you are asking is ridiculous."

The next day she would not change her mind. I called my folks. They said
that it was my decision and they would stand by me. I booked her ticket and
put it in her hand the next evening. She was to leave in 2 days.

Nothing would convince her to change her mind. She was crying like a kid.
Then she left.

 She had done nothing for me to miss but something inside me was telling me
that I was at fault. I tried to shake it off but as time grew I started
feeling more guilty. I called her. She made it clear that she did not find
me despicable but she would not leave her city. Her parents apologized
profusely but they were helpless too.

I have had crushes. None of them were serious. There was this girl in my
high school tuition whose phone no I managed to find out. Then the
prettiest girl in college whom everybody loved, who talked to me once. Then
the girl from my city who was at my university in USA who made me feel at
home when I visited her place. I had ignored them once I crossed their
paths. But Anjali was my wife. I could not ignore her.

I decided to quit my job. I went home. No one back home knew I was
returning. I wanted to surprise her. I dropped off my bags at my place and
went to the college she was teaching. The gate keeper would not let me in.
So I had to wait outside for the classes to get over.

She walked out alone, struggling to carry her bag, tired, with slow steps.
She was walking towards the bus stop. I silently followed her and went
behind her and whispered, "Do you mind if I carry your bag?"

She was startled and turned to face me. Her eyes lit up. I was not sure if
I could hug her. I was smiling and she had a 100 questions written all over
her face. "I want to spend a week with you in this city. Show me the things
that you could not miss"

 That one week went in a jiffy. She was treated a kid at home with all the
comforts. That explained her behaviour. Coffee was brought to her in the
morning. Even her dress was laid out for her. She would have breakfast and
leave. The bus journey was an hour. She would sit near the window with a
book. Then once in the college she would teach her classes and come out
tired in the evening. She would stand in the crowded bus carrying her bag
which would look heavy. Then she would alight, go home, have a snack and
would head out to a friend's place. Sometimes she'd stay home watching TV
or listening to music. When her dad returned she would join him and they'd
have dinner. Then her mom would tuck her in bed. Weekends were not much
different. She would sleep late, wake up for breakfast and lie down talking
on the phone. Then she would visit the temple in the evening and would have
her singing lessons. Then she would eat out and would head home late.

That was her life. It was something every human being wanted - simple,
content and happy. Of course to her I was a villain. I told her that I
understood her. I wanted to know if it was ok if she stayed in the same
city but away from her parents. Her only condition was that I should not
stay at my parent's place to which I agreed. So we moved into a small
apartment. She knew nothing. She had to be taught everything. She learnt.
It was hard to make her understand that she had duties and she had a
husband. Coffee had to be brought to her in the morning. She made the rules
and broke them. She did not care for me. Sometimes she would not return
home but go to her parents' place without informing me. I would have had to
go bring her back.

Slowly she started realizing about married life. She would wake up before
me, try to cook, agree for a movie, visit my friend's place, invite me to
her college, let me dress her up, dance in front of me, teach me Chemistry,
talk about her crushes, play cricket with me, make me cry for a change. She
was growing mature day by day. One day she apologized for the whole thing.
I brushed it aside. Finally I had her the way I wanted.

Today I am happy and content with my life. She is still there crying to get
her things done. I keep reminding her how she had threatened to call the
police. She laughs it away. Sometimes I wonder how life would have been if
I had not returned. Then again some things are left as they are.

That's how life is..
There are two ways of meeting difficulties:

"You alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them"*

Student Life Definitions Altered ;) ;) ;)


SPEED : Getting ready in 5 minutes

SHARING : Whole class copying one assignment but in totally different way

PRESENTATION SKILLS : Can present one answer in 5 different ways for 5 different questions :D

EDITING : Your report contains at least 5 pages less than the person from whom you copied

MULTI TASKING: Playing games on cell, sms to gf/bf, gossiping with seat mate, day dreaming, making teacher's sketch and still pretending that you are listening what teacher is saying.

ART : Beautiful art on the last page of note book.

SENSE OF HUMOR : Provide best unintentional humor to teachers during Viva :D

CONSISTENCY : Once a Zero, always a Zero!

VOICE MODULATION : Attendance in 5 different voices.

STAMINA : Tolerating teacher for consecutive 1 hour :D

PERIPHERAL VISION: Staring at your crush, no matter where so ever he/she sits :D

HUMANITY : Failing and keeping the consistency of giving others a chance to top!:D

TALENT : Make whole class laugh no matter how tense is the situation :P

Secret behind happy married life


2 friends talking with each other:

Once it was asked by one of my Friends, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"

I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love and Respect for each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."

He asked, "Can you explain?"

I said, "In my house, I take decisions on bigger issues where as my wife decides on smaller issues. We do not interfere in each other's decisions."

Still not convinced, Friend asked me "Give me some examples"
I said, "Smaller issues like, which car we should buy, how much amount to save, when to visit home town, which Sofa, air conditioner, refrigerator, monthly expenses, whether to keep a maid or not etc are decided by my wife. I just agree to it"
He asked, "Then what is your role?"
I said, "My decisions are only for very big issues. Like whether America should attack Iran, whether Britain should lift sanction over Zimbabwe, whether to widen African economy, whether Sachin Tendulkar should retire, etc etc and My wife NEVER, EVER objects to any of these decisions"!!!!! ;) :P 

Logic Question...


Harry, a fresh computer graduate from a world class University, goes for an interview in a software company.

 The interviewer is James, a grubby old man. And the first question he asks Harry is, "Are you good at logic?"

 "Of course," replies Harry.

 "Let me test you," replies James.


 "Two men come down a chimney. One comes with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?"

 Harry stares at James. "Is that a test in Logic?" James nods.

 "The one with the dirty face washes his face," he answers wearily.

 "Wrong. The one with the clean face washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So, the one with the clean face washes his face."

 "Hmm. I never thought of that," says Harry. "Give me another test."

 James again holds up two fingers, "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?"

 "We have already established that. The one with the clean face washes his face."

 "Wrong. Each one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So, the one with the clean face washes his face. When the one with the dirty face sees the one with the clean face washing his face, he also washes his face. So each one washes his face"

 "I didn't think of that!" says Harry. "It's shocking to me that I could make an error in logic. Test me again!"

James holds up two fingers, "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?"

 "Each one washes his face."

 "Wrong. Neither one washes his face. Examine the simple logic. The one with the dirty face looks at the one with the clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face looks at the one with the dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. But when the one with clean face sees that the one with the dirty face doesn't wash his face, he also doesn't wash his face So neither one washes his face."

 Harry is desperate. "I am qualified for this job. Please give me one more test!"

He groans when James lifts his two fingers, "Two men come down a chimney. One comes out with a clean face and the other comes out with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?"

 "Neither one washes his face"

 "Wrong. Do you now see, Harry, why programming knowledge is insufficient for this job? Tell me, how is it possible for two men to come down the same chimney, and for one to come out with a clean face and the other with a dirty face? Don't you see...?"

Xtremely Funny!!! :-)


Enjoy the post. Don’t think in technical terms please. J

Just look at the great person’s(Purushottam Abuj) comment in rediff and the funny replies the ppl have sent on his great idea ….This blog was on the article where 2 scientists have invented a plane that will run on solar energy…they claim it will work in night as well… Njoy the blog


Suggestion
by Purushottam Abuj on Jun 30, 2009 01:38 PM  | Hide replies

Actually Government should use the geographical advantage of we being on the opposite side of USA.
We should dig a through hole from the center earth which will connect India and USA, so we can put wire through it.
So in India's day time sun light and solar energy can be given to USA and they can give us the same in their day time.
Also we can fit an train through it so that we dont have to use planes for travelling.
Similarly Finland and New Zealand can be connected using a vertical angular hole.
The best part is if we drop something from Finland it will automatically come down to New Zealand due to gravity, so lot of energy
can be saved which we lose in transportation and travelling.
This saved energy can then be stored in everyday pencil cells and can be sold at Rs 14 each. This additional revenue can then be
used to educate the people and the children of farmers so that they will have earning sons and they will not sucide.


Re: Suggestion
by SUNDEEB NAIR on Jun 30, 2009 01:50 PM
Brilliantest idea ever spelt. But when digging hole from India to US, we should take care when digging at the end, otherwise the excavators & engineers, laborers etc. will fall out of the earth into space.
I differ reg. pricing pencil cells at Rs.14/-, due to inflation, drought the price should be raised to like 14.50
Re: Suggestion
by venky iyer on Jun 30, 2009 01:48 PM
mr purshottam ur definately a mahapurush,i must recommend you to padma bhushan nd vidya bhushan awards for u
Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 01:46 PM
Making hole in earth is not a good idea. We can just break sun into 4-5 parts and fit one part above India, one above US, one above Finlad and one above New Zealand.
Re: Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 01:48 PM
Sanjoy, I have already nominated him for Noble prize. Please don't forget to watch India TV tonight ;-)
Re: Re: Suggestion
by manoj lakhanpal on Jun 30, 2009 01:57 PM
This is realy a grt idea guys.. one more thing we are missing.. How Bhart Ratan Purush (Honai wallai) can forget to utilize MOON.. We need to workout to utilize moon light in night rather than digging our motherland.. ..
Re: Re: Re: Suggestion
by Purushottam Abuj on Jun 30, 2009 02:01 PM
Yes I agree as Moon glows in the night it means surely it is having some sort of energy,
My suggestion is Next time when we launch chandrayan, connect some wire to its end and then send to earth. So the energy can directly reach from Moon to Sriharikotta.
By the way, dont forget to another wire for Earthing, becoz I am not sure if Moonthing works
Re: Suggestion
by Gaurav Kaul on Jun 30, 2009 01:55 PM
thank god you posted this here and not on a foreign website.otherwise all indians would be branded mental patients ....
Re: Suggestion
by Ungli on Jun 30, 2009 01:52 PM
what an idea sirji,:)
Re: Suggestion
by chin chu on Jun 30, 2009 01:59 PM
and what if all the kids playing the hole fall into it? Like it does happen everywhere around these days..pahle borewell me girte the..abhi isme girenge. he he
Re: Re: Suggestion
by Rajnish Singh on Jun 30, 2009 02:02 PM
Ismein girenge to US pahunch jaayenge....
Re: Re: Re: Suggestion
by chin chu on Jun 30, 2009 02:08 PM
and dont forget the garib janta who goes out every morning with LOTA PANI to do the daily pooing stuff..what if somebody does it in the hole? US will get a taste of India.. Hahahahahahaa….

Men Are Just Happier People


From A Girl's Point Of View.....

Men Are Just Happier People

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks.


A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades..

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache..

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier ..



*Sigh*... Men lead such simple lives...

CONTRADICTION OF THE WORDS UNITE TO-GETHER WHAT DO YOU HAVE?


CONTRADICTION OF THE WORDS UNITE TO-GETHER
WHAT DO YOU HAVE?
(1) Clearly Misunderstood

(2) Exact Estimate

(3) Small
Crowd

(4) Act
Naturally

(5) Found
Missing

(6) Fully
Empty

(7) Pretty
Ugly

(8) Seriously
Funny

(9) Only
Choice

(10) Original
Copies

(11) Happily Married

Never be a Developer


Introduction:

Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)  
Mukesh Thakur (Developer)  
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in
username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.
 
Mukesh Thakur:  How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep
sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it
fixed.


  After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.
 
 
 
After another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in
some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry
is not getting the sound.
 
 
 
After another 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has
Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt
speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use
head phones and then get the bug closed soon.
 
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is
Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but
My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound
as 'TONG'.
 
Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The
Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do
You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them
uniform?
Please close it.
 
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep
Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces
Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces
Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all
machines.
 
 
 
Another 2 days later,
 
Mukesh Thakur :  Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the
Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both
The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.
 
 
 
Another 2 days,
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I have re-opened the bug.
 
Mukesh Thakur :  What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for
re-opening?
 
Roshan D'Mello:  Sound intensity is different for machines placed at
different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.
 
 
 
After 2 days,
 
Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of
the
two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the
acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity
is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the
bugs.
 
 
 
After 1 year
 
Roshan D'Mello :  I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested
The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same
Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that
intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.
 
Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the
Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background
noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because
of background noice.
 
Roshan D'Mello :   No need for that. We will put the machines and run
them in vacuum and see.
 
Mukesh Thakur:   ??
  Result-----------------------
He is now in mental asylum while Roshan D’Mello has become QA Manager.

Science Of Tatkal


Taken From TOI
Touts and illegal agents have found novel ways to bypass the heavy traffic to IRCTC's Tatkal booking site, log on quickly and corner tickets at will.
Tatkal tickets, as the name suggests, can be booked 24 hours ahead of journey and touts say their businesses run on their ability to beat the traffic. One of those TOI talked to, claimed he was always a "step ahead of others".
Step one, he said, was to use a non-MTNL net connection. "In India, MTNL is the preferred service provider, so traffic on the IRCTC site from BSNL servers is very heavy. A good way out: Draft a friend living in a foreign land to login. Tell him to book the ticket for you. The friend will access IRCTC from a different server. For him, it'll be a breeze. Seamlessly, he'll buy your ticket and clear out," he explains.
"Here's another tip," he says. "Enabling the lowspeed connection option in your browser (some browsers like Opera have it) even while using high-speed internet works wonders. This results in faster loading of a page."
If IRCTC thought stopping usage of one IP address to book multiple tickets can stop touting, here's how touts mock this safety feature. "Switch off your modem and turn it on again. You have a new IP address. This is because most service providers use dynamic IP addresses,'' the agent says. It is also possible to login using multiple IDs from different browsers, yet again beating IRCTC's efforts to offer restricted access to travel agencies.
Synchronize your computer clock with the IRCTC site time and start booking exactly after 8am. Those who try in the first few seconds after 8am have a better chance of booking, he says.
Agents, though, say it takes "homework, practice and diligence'' to complete the bookings lightning fast. "First, we find available trains, select source and destination of travel. Most important is to zero in on the train where getting confirmations is easiest. A maximum of four passengers can travel on a Tatkal ticket. We keep their details ready and use Forefox's auto-fill feature to fill them in quickly.''
He suggests no passenger must waste time on the "Quick book" option that the IRCTC site offers. "Under ordinary circumstances, if you fill the form quickly and press quick book, it should reach a banking site without asking for any further verification and confirmation. Very few know IRCTC has blocked this from 8 am to 9 am making the tool useless,'' he smiles.